Friday, July 28, 2006

Darn It!

The Kid is back. In a big way.

Remember last summer, when I started this blog, I had to write a very long post explaining what had happened at daycare last summer? When I wrote a really long post about how desperate and horrible I felt when everything came to a head at the school last year? It's all back.

I've written recently about brewing troubles at daycare. The Kid has been exhibiting very troubling anger and violence toward other children. For the second time this summer, he has been suspended for two days due to hitting and throwing things.

This is a tough place to be. The Kid and I have worked really hard on his anger. It was beginning to feel manageable at the end of the school year. We worked hard on body awareness when he was angry, and on ways to avoid frustration, safe places to go when he was angry, etc. The school was very supportive in our attempts.

As the summer progressed, it became increasingly clear that The Kid's anger management was suffering a major setback, and that the daycare lacked the staff and/or the staff with training in helping him in a reasonable manner. I think that they are lacking in a regular schedule of engaging activities, and their staff does not understand how to manage The Kid in a proactive way. Additionally and most importantly, I think The Kid is suffering from a period of high irritability and is definitely "worse" than normal. I guess we could call it mania? Or especially bad impulse control at the current time?

I don't know. But I'm not feeling from the daycare that they will be taking any of my suggestions for proactive behavior modification. They don't intervene with The Kid until it's too late, basically. And my suggestions to watch him more closely before he ends up "having a fit" (their words, not mine), are not being taken under advisement.

So I've chosen to take him out of daycare. Except that I have no other alternative. And I DO have a job, because I make the bacon around here, and we must have daycare.

It's so very frustrating because The Kid that lives with me is not The Kid that goes to daycare and hits other kids. He's a good boy for me. He's a good boy at Karate. He's a good boy at Meema's house. I feel horrible because I feel like I should have taken care of this so much earlier, before it came to this point. I hate that I'm going to have to call daycares and explain that I have a son with a bipolar diagnosis and that they are going to have to do all of this extra work and hear from them that, uh, no, he doesn't sound like a very good candidate for their daycare.

So, I'm taking a few days off next week to settle this. I need to find a suitable daycare for the next three weeks, and one that will hopefully be afterschool care for him after he starts 1st grade again.

Wish me luck.


Sarah Dawson said...

Christ, Molly. So this is what us single gals are doing on a Friday night? Blog activity. That's right. We don't need anyone: we've got our blogs. I'm not posting anything because work took it outta me. But I am feeling for you, and you gotta know that your loyal readers love The Kid something fierce, no matter what. It's so unfair the he has to deal with this AS a kid. He can't navigate what's going on at all. If I were there, I'd get some "work from home" type job and stay home with The Kid so you could bring home the bacon. I'd be like the dream husband you never had, except I'm pretty and into boys. That's how dedicated I am. You'll figure it out. I know you will. Good luck and give The Kid a great big hug from me.

Alison said...

Well, I think that I can understand how he feels to some extent. It's hard to control under any circumstances - even if you're on drugs and have cognitive awareness of the connections between triggers, emotions, and actions. I myself have been acting out quite a bit in the last week - and yesterday I couldn't really control what was coming out of my mouth.

I wish I had some brilliant answer for you. I wonder if maybe Fisher at DU would have the ability to handle a case like this. I know that's probably out of the way for you though. And there's usually a waiting list. But maybe if you gave them a call...

mr. lady said...

Seriously, Molly. Move here. I will take care of him.

This fucking ridiculous and I am so angry for you.

Diane said...


I feel for you. It's a rough situation to be in. Hope all works out well.