As enacted by The Kid
Step One: Get out of the bath and refuse to sleep in anything but your tightie whities.
Step Two: Proceed to fall asleep on the couch while your mom watches a really bad TV show she'd be to embarrassed to tell you she watched (Hell's Kitchen), and talks on the phone with your aunt.
Step Three: Don't be shy about the sleeping on the couch. Spread out, take up the whole thing. Make your mom look at you and wonder if you really have grown 4 inches since school let out (2 weeks ago) and if that is the case, if she could sit and watch you grow like bamboo.
Step Four: Here's your moment. You must be completely and totally and unrousably "asleep." You will not wake up to walk to your bed. You must be carried. You AND your brand new four inches.
Step Five: Allow Mom to carry you to bed. You can totally help her carry you, as in, once she's practically thrown her back out just trying to get you upright, you can totally stand on the couch and hug her tight while she gets you into position for her to carry you to your bed. She'll never know you are fake-sleeping.
Step Six: As she lays you in your bed, pulls up your covers and kisses you on the cheek, you may smile (totally while "sleeping"), because your mission is accomplished, little buddy. You've made your mom turn into mush. If only you weren't sleeping this would be a great time to get her to commit to a trip to Six Flags.