tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post5079976441076684240..comments2023-10-07T05:31:22.435-06:00Comments on Soapy Water: The Grand Apologia: Why I Give The Kid Medicationmolly_ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01837471795809687511noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post-79526784302795595812007-06-22T18:39:00.000-06:002007-06-22T18:39:00.000-06:00Thank you so much for this post. I am a special ed...Thank you so much for this post. I am a special education teacher, and I don't have words to express what this post did to help open up the world of being a parent of a child with special needs. I have worked with many parents who have faced this same dilemma...to med or not to med...and I've been torn over the pros and cons right along with them. But you have so clearly captured the struggle between a broken educational system, a less-than-functional medical system, and the families who get caught in the middle. I admire your persistence, dedication, and education. Thank you for helping me understand the parenting side of things a little bit more.<BR/><BR/>PS What an eloquent response to the post that disagreed with the use of meds!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post-9616328822196947622007-04-06T14:46:00.000-06:002007-04-06T14:46:00.000-06:00What a moving, intelligent, interesting post.I kno...What a moving, intelligent, interesting post.<BR/><BR/>I know very little about the subject and just stumbled across your blog but I will certainly be back for more!<BR/><BR/>Take care,<BR/><BR/>Philip<BR/>http://www.disabilityblog.org<BR/>http://www.disabled-help.orgPhilip.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01385613327362296432noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post-34395511585463214432007-04-05T17:59:00.000-06:002007-04-05T17:59:00.000-06:00Anonymous:I don't consider medicating easy. Nor is...Anonymous:<BR/><BR/>I don't consider medicating easy. Nor is it all we do. The Kid is in a therapeutic school, because he cannot function in any other school, with or without meds. He goes to therapy weekly. We've instituted a number of behavioral plans at home and at school. <BR/><BR/>Medication is not a cure. It does not rid The Kid of all mental-illness symptomology. He still has a very difficult time. He has shown that when he is unstable, he is unable to keep himself safe. Yesterday, he called me a fucker and had an enormous public rage explosion. I can honestly say, however, that once we found a good medication for him, we see a lot less of this, or at the very least, he can settle himself down a lot faster and get to the bottom of what his emotions are telling him. In short, it helps him function enough to learn how to function amid his constant struggles. <BR/><BR/>I understand what you are saying about individualism and society telling us how to behave "normally." I agree to an extent, but the behavior that The Kid displays is not safe to himself or others, and no amount of individualism can justify that.<BR/><BR/>I do have grave concerns about long-term use of medications. I would have the same concerns of any medication that I gave my son. It is an issue that I discuss regularly with his doctors. But were I to medicate my son for diabetes or another "accepted" disease, I would encounter no opposition. <BR/><BR/>You mention the messages I give him by medicating him, but I wonder what kind of messages he would receive from me and from the larger world were he not medicated, if he were to function in this world as he did last fall when he was anxious, depressed, angry, violent, having self-destructive thoughts and beginning to display self-destructive behaviors. He expressed desire to kill himself on a number of occasions.<BR/><BR/>I've never associated my love for him with his taking medication, he does not see my love as dependent on anything, it is unconditional and he is well aware of that. That is my job as a mother, and I can tell you that I am damn good at that. <BR/><BR/>Mental illness is a highly personal issue. I commend you for the hard work that you have done in working with being bipolar and "owning" your bipolar. I also understand that you have your history and reactions to meds and I do appreciate you sharing them with me, but these things do not apply to every situation. Your bipolar is not The Kid's bipolar.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for reading and sharing.molly_ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01837471795809687511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post-91831479529278857162007-04-05T15:46:00.000-06:002007-04-05T15:46:00.000-06:00While I understand your viewpoint on the issue con...While I understand your viewpoint on the issue consider this: How did kids get their psychiatric medications before they existed? <BR/><BR/>I'm an adult now (with a psychology degree no less), but I used to be a child on psyciatric meds, and while I dont know how it feels to be a parent of such a child I do have some insight on the other side. In a nutshell: I really wish my parents hadnt done that to me. <BR/><BR/>I dont know your situation, but to a child here's what you're saying: You are wrong, your feelings and thoughts are a mistake, you need to be fixed, you need to be like everyone else. You dont need to understand why, you dont need to know how, just take this and everyone will like you again. <BR/><BR/>Drug use is drug use, and weather you're smoking a joint to deal with the stresses of the day or popping a paxil you arent adressing the thing causing the issue. If the thing causing the issue cant be changed then at least you can get stronger and learn to deal with it rather than relying on a crutch. Children are remarkable with the versitility and ability to adapt to situations and childhood is a key time to develop their natural coping skills. <BR/><BR/>The whole chemical imbalance line is a crock as well. The human body naturally regulates is chemicals. Your dog dies and you might show an "imbalance". Doesnt mean there is something wrong with you, just that the things in your environment can have an effect on your body and mood. That should be a no brainer, it's called life. <BR/><BR/>Also, the medications you're giving your son are in effect telling his brain that it can be lazy and possibly atrophy. The brain is no different from an atrophied muscle; Dont use it and you'll find it weak and unable to do its job when the time comes on its own. All the chemicals you're putting into him can be made by his brain, but you're cutting down the chances of that happening by always having a handy outside source to draw from. <BR/><BR/>The wors part about the meds: After a while you're so muted and apathetic you dont even care that you're muted and apathetic. We arent all the same, and it's a shame that society can't deal with that. Ever read Harrison Bergeron? I feel that finally I've come to terms with being bipolar and I wouldnt trade it for the world. Yes the swings are strange, but they're MY strange, they're my way of seeing and interprating the world. With a little self monitoring I can navigate and contain via internal dialogue what would normally be treated with pills. It might not be the easy route, but again, that's life isnt it?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post-36701178173062337442007-04-03T19:26:00.000-06:002007-04-03T19:26:00.000-06:00You have created a very special blog!Thanks for le...You have created a very special blog!<BR/>Thanks for letting me link to yours.<BR/><BR/>Special EddSpecial Eddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07334199881993967716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post-70824911579885147922007-03-27T07:48:00.000-06:002007-03-27T07:48:00.000-06:00Hey! I found you from Richard's and I so feel you...Hey! I found you from Richard's and I so feel your pain..I have lived in your world. I have 6 children and all of them, including their father and I ...have ADD...oh yeah. Which actually made it easier, eh..in some ways...and I medicated too, for a time. We were able to discontinue meds after a whole buttload of counseling and me getting us organized and on a schedule..and now they are pretty much grown and doing pretty good.<BR/><BR/>Don't let the naysayers bring you down.Kelly(Mom of 6)https://www.blogger.com/profile/17068284644013994933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post-89705777432414817702007-03-23T09:44:00.000-06:002007-03-23T09:44:00.000-06:00Molly, I'm a first-time visitor to your blog and I...Molly, I'm a first-time visitor to your blog and I am blown away by this post. This is the most honest, unbiased, loving and understanding post about the issues of medicating our kids that I've ever read. I'm sitting at work at the moment..and I'm speechless. My wife and I have taken so much grief over the years - and been subjected to so many sidelong glares and unsought advice - all because we chose to have our son take medication. Even our families question our choices. But he would not be able to live his life without that help. <BR/><BR/>Thank you for your post. I will visit your blog often.Emhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14063254538593495040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post-28622787761325381122007-03-22T14:55:00.000-06:002007-03-22T14:55:00.000-06:00It's Liz from I Speak of Dreams. John L sent me o...It's Liz from <A HREF="http://lizditz.typepad.com" REL="nofollow">I Speak of Dreams</A>. John L <A HREF="http://ebdblog.com/2007/03/22/medicating-kids/" REL="nofollow">sent me over.</A><BR/><BR/>This is a great post. Yes, people need to read this -- the knee-jerk aversion to medication in some people endangers their children.<BR/><BR/>I posted a link to this post at the SchwabLearning Parents' Message Board, <A HREF="http://schwablearning.org/message_boards/view_messages.asp?thread=21083" REL="nofollow">here</A>. I know there are several parents with bipolar kids, plus a lot with ADHD. Your thoughtful, passionate post will be helpful to them.Liz Ditzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03455722013211350247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post-54035195700659161212007-03-22T13:22:00.000-06:002007-03-22T13:22:00.000-06:00Molls, I have been reading snippets of this for da...Molls, I have been reading snippets of this for days. Just kow I did the whole thing.<BR/><BR/>Wowzas. People fucking need to read this.<BR/><BR/>(On a side note, you kinda blow my mind, dude. You really are amazing.)Mr Ladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09998773078408832376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post-76015978571922146362007-03-22T08:02:00.000-06:002007-03-22T08:02:00.000-06:00Horrible story with that four year old killed my h...Horrible story with that four year old killed my her parents. She's gone, but at least she can't suffer any longer. Heartbreaking story.<BR/><BR/>I feel that many kids are caught early, but far too many slip thru the cracks. Doctors have to be at the forefront and parents need to be made more aware of things to watch for. <BR/><BR/>Medical and mental issues need to be caught early to ensure that the children have plenty of time to catch up. The larger the developmentally delays and issues, the harder it is to close the gap. Getting and keeping our children on track is key to their future. <BR/><BR/>Child Find helped us when Harley was little and helped a friend's child too. <BR/><BR/>I have to hand it to you Molly, as I don't know that I could talk about this so openly. I feel that your educating us and showing us the personal side of something that is still rarely discussed. <BR/><BR/>Keeping things hidden is what makes mental illnesses so hard to understand. We don't see or hear much about it and the public certainly isn't informed on the subject. <BR/><BR/>The Kid is very lucky to have you as a Mom.Dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14302775504225829005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post-12364201657984517122007-03-21T23:25:00.000-06:002007-03-21T23:25:00.000-06:00Hey - great post!One thing that has helped our kid...Hey - great post!<BR/><BR/>One thing that has helped our kids with their issues (Fiona has dyspraxia and Ewan has some sensory and feeding issues) is to supplement with high-quality fish oil. It takes a few weeks of providing it for it to build up in the brain, but it has helped with some of their issues tied to the way certain parts of the brain coordinate with one another.<BR/><BR/>I've no idea if it will help here, but I did see some search results on "bipolar and fish oil." Anyway, I've no objections to medication, but I also look for more natural ways too (as I am sure you do too, so thought I would throw out the fish oil thing).<BR/><BR/>Anyway, if you're up for a beer to talk about delightful yet wonky kids, let me know. ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post-82122035497000646162007-03-21T22:17:00.000-06:002007-03-21T22:17:00.000-06:00Dude, I'm honored to be your friend. And you know ...Dude, I'm honored to be your friend. And you know I've always thought you were a wonderful parent--the best. The Kid is SO very lucky that you are his mom. You'll find a way to get him through this.Leslie Dillingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02551594234914813480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post-91145761654255173652007-03-21T16:28:00.000-06:002007-03-21T16:28:00.000-06:00Molly,I am so glad that my beautiful nephew has su...Molly,<BR/><BR/>I am so glad that my beautiful nephew has such a passionate, articulate, loving, and wise mother. I'm honored to be your sister.<BR/><BR/>Love,<BR/>BonnieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15859726.post-85207899666660844292007-03-21T09:53:00.000-06:002007-03-21T09:53:00.000-06:00Molly, I cannot imagine going through this with a ...Molly, I cannot imagine going through this with a kid. I've dealt with this stuff - certainly not as extreme of a case - on my own, and that's been so hard. <BR/><BR/>It is such a challenge to find a psychiatrist <I>and</I> a therapist <I>and</I> a medication regimen that works within the boundaries of the insurance regime as an adult, I can only imagine that the challenge is amplified a million times with children.<BR/><BR/>I finally found a psychiatrist and a medication that have worked for almost a year. But the therapist - the ongoing maintenance - is another story entirely. I gave up on it, to tell the truth. I'm tired of being told that I need to change my thinking without any tools to do that. And if I, who have a very low diagnosis, have this problem, how could a child possibly deal with that situation without a fully integrated support network from home to school to medicine?<BR/><BR/>I don't know if this is something that is available to kids, but in desperation for help, I recently started seeing a clinical hypnotherapist. Not on the insurance, but by far the best thing I've ever done for myself. So far, it's just allowed me to feel centered. I've never felt centered that I can remember. I keep thinking there must be something that can be done with that to help kids out too.<BR/><BR/>Just some (long) thoughts...Alisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07353831586172071306noreply@blogger.com